Sad feeling

Have you ever experienced homesickness? Stay away from your hometown, away from your old friends and family. Even if you miss to be with them but you can't reach them, really miss to have fun with old friends and stay closer. I feel it once again .. This isn't my first time, even though it has been 2 years since I started to stay overseas for education purposes. Feel lonely, even though I am not. hardly sleep, hardly to escape these thoughts from my mind. It happened to me last night. I couldn't sleep though the time was 2 a.m. in the morning. I was so depressed. My mind was so destructed with the past, My back and stomach were in pain too. I couldn't do anything instead of crying. these are my current feeling. I don't have anyone to share on that time. (I won't tell more than these.) x)

So, this morning I decided to call my mom, bravely asked her, "Mom? Is it possible for me to go back to Indo this week ?". BUt then, She kept on talking about school, college and other shit. Why can't she understand man?!~ Argh!~ Then suddenly I came out with an idea to go back to my hometown for college, She got too furious with this idea.haha (maybe my brain was not in my head on that time, how could I say that) She asked me to ask my dad about going back for holiday. I refused to do it. One of the reason is because I need to go to school during the holiday for my ART exam's preparation. (!*#$%^&*@~)

I tried to call my best friend, but she didn't pick up , I called her for many times, I got the same respond. Maybe she is busy. that was more frustrating.. fiuh~ I usually can easily handle this by doing something. My ipod isn't working, my msn isn't working, I got bored in surfing the net. rights~ What should I do next???

I decided to not skipping class tomorrow! maybe this is why I feel too bored when I stay at home just the two of us. (with my brother only). haiz~ in this age, I need to cook and wash the dishes for my brother (he is cleaning the house), get scold by him every time he feels unsatisfied with my work at home or everything that I do makes him upset (like everytime I laugh when I watched a TV Show/ listening to music in a big volume/ my stuffs are everywhere in the house haha~). I feel like I live in a marriage life. I am scared. hahaha

Sometimes I feel tired to live in this kind of situation.. fiuh~~ back again, I woke up myself.
I think I need to learn to think in a right way and in the right time. Especially learn to handle my feeling, to admit myself, appreciate and respect everyone around me, treasured every moment in my life, and doing my best! Right? It seems so impossible and hard.
Cheer me up! :D